Add a Comment

Comment by Alfred Balban on September 29, 2011 at 7:29

Coversation between Spanish military and the American Fleet.

 

Comment by Alfred Balban on August 14, 2011 at 22:14

The Tesco Doctor

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would
happen.

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin. The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better....

Thank you for shopping at Tesco ...... every little helps

 

 

 

Comment by Adam Karp on July 21, 2011 at 21:46

Husband Down
A husband and wife are shopping in their local ASDA
The husband picks up a case of Tennants and puts it in their trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only 10 for 24 cans he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a 20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Tennants and it's half the price.'
He never knew what hit him.

Comment by gino guilliano on July 19, 2011 at 22:19

paco que llega a su casa y desde abajo le crita a su muje maria,que voy pa arriba y te voy echa 4 polvo,maria le crita pa tra,paco otra ve ta boracho.y el le dice no que vengo con 4 amigos.lol

Comment by Alfred Balban on July 12, 2011 at 15:03

This is from Tuggy,he sure is a funny bugger!

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page